Secangkir kopi nemenin gw yang baru bangun untuk memulai awal minggu yang baru.
Dapet sms dari murid, nanya hari ini jadi ngelesin apa nggak cause she thought ada latian buat acara lain.
Marlboro merah dan asep2nya di sebelah gw..
Everything seem so normal but this funny feeling inside me.

Aneh..
Dari sebelum tidur tadi malem (tadi subuh *sebelum diprotes sama orang2 yang udah tau jadwal tidur gw*), ada seorang subjek yang selalu nongol di benak gw.. no matter how hard i tried to let go.
Sampe akhirnya berkurang pas nonton 'catwoman' di indovision.
great movie, great Halle Berry act, great whip!
Film selesai, i directly went to bed and began closing my eyes.
guess what. Subjek itu muncul lagi..
then i thought, mungkin karena gw seharian pergi sama orang ini.
Okay.. i accepted that reason and started to loose consciousness (it's about 6 am.)

Entered this animated world called 'dreams'..
I saw the subject again, with a smile and a perfect nose shape on his face, looking anywhere but to my direction.
Everytime I woke up, it turned out gw cuma memeluk guling doang... which has no smile and face like him (ya iyalah... serem banget kalo pas bangun ternyata gulingnya punya muka dan lagi senyum... hiii)
terus gw tidur lagi.
bangun lagi...
tidur lagi...
selalu subjek itu yang nemenin gw.

akhirnya setelah baterenya full, gw bangun.. dan menganggap guling itu emang subjek yang ada pikiran gw..
ternyata bisa juga bermimpi tanpa tidur.
bad habbit!

Subjek ini, anehnya, bukan mantan gw tapi justru a very unexpected person... the butterfly i mentioned in my first post.
kenapa pikiran gw masih keukeuh untuk membiarkan dia mampir? Toh dia masih di dalem kepompong, still trying to make his wings stronger to face the next chapter of his life..
and the most important thing, di luar kepompongnya pun udah ada tulisan "I DONT NEED HELP! STAY AWAY!"

To make things worst, anehnya pikiran gw membuka box-box memori yang sebetulnya udah harus direcycle karena berhubungan dengan butterfly ini... termasuk satu box yang isinya message yahoo messanger dari dia dengan karakter mandarin:
來嘛 親一下....嗯 嘛
kurang lebih artinya: come here and kiss me a bit..
Got this message earlier this year right after i sent him a message to let him know that i miss him..

But finally I managed to get back to reality and remind myself by opening the box with the label 'rejections'..
then i remembered he already said no, even though i didnt ask..
Well he just wanted to clear something up, as he said before.
Then afterwards, everytime he made an appearance in my head, i directly give myself a no.
There...
I should give credits to myself of doing this, as i think that is the best way to deal with it.
One positive side i took from this story: I'm definitely getting over my ex... as i unexpectedly not thinking about the same guy that haunted me for such a long time..

As for this butterfly...
a word of thanks and a note of good luck for your efforts..

Quote of the day:
"to love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another"
got it from a wrapping of a chocolate bar